Jokes Thread

[d0ugparker]

Red paint.

[d0ugparker]

Tomorrow, when you get to that job you *love,* (sarcasm) always remember that boss spelled backwards is double-S, O, B.

[warrant311]

A few covid Jokes

3. Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.

2. They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on.

 1. Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.

source:Top 10 Covid Jokes (https://www.keeplaughingforever.com/post/top-10-corona-virus-jokes)

[Moltke]

LOL

https://turnoff.us/geek/linux-master-hero/

[MS]

This is a sticky thing:

[MS]

Imagine a certain scene. Wasteland. You have been travelling through the desert for a couple of days now, running short on food and drinkable water. Suddenly, on the horizon, amidst the literal nowhere, you spot a tiny blue dot, a figure perhaps. Coming closer, you recognize it is a portable toilet unit, a plastic mansized trapezoid, all clean and neat, shining brightly in the sun of the noon. "Happy Birthday!".

Kind of like with the first scene from Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, speaking of which:



EDIT:

Hey, if you find it offensive, all humour is offensive.

[MS]

Random encounter:

[MS]

The company referenced perhaps in the linked video, is not a solitary representative of a discussed problem. The problem, whatsoever, is not as much greed, as it is the disrespectful demeanor towards the consumer base. But a single company, in particular of such scope as the one possibly indicated, is very unlikely to be an exception in the grander picture. It could be an exemplary of insolent edge to the case, but certain common denominators certainly do exist among the fruit of the same branch, even among the fruit of the same tree. What do we talk about, is the industry, in particular the entertainment industry of digital gaming. The problem, is disrespect. What does the critically orientated consumer base go primarily against, in my opinion, is not even the sickly but unfortunately common practice of commercial truth mishandling or otherwise poorly actions and behaviors - it is the problem of when it is done in particularly cynical, dishonest, derogatory way, victimizing the consumer. Which is why, some companies, primarily those of pure contemporary industry shape, become particular subjects for criticism. Nonetheless, such as with the metaphor of an iceberg, what we see in plain sight, is only a small fraction of the patterns more expanseful and rooted deeply into the environmental tissue.

[MS]

This time topic is guns:

[MS]

Legendary classic. Millions, if not dozens of millions of views, total, throughout the time. Gross mismanagement behind this video disallows to prove the claim first hand, since initially, at the time of greatest popularity, it was uploaded to Google+, as well as - for some insecure reasons - reuploaded and then reuploaded again, when on Youtube. Anyway, here it is, the Fear of Girls:

[MS]

One of my favourite classics:

[MS]

Lemme tell you a joke, alright? No, seriously, it is a joke. Here we go.

Construction site. The foreman gathers his crew and says:
listen up, people. Today, the owner is going to visit the site. I want none of you to loiter. I want him to see how we are working hard here to get the thing done. Like never. Understood? If he complaints to me that we are doing lazy and points out to any of you as an example, you will remember.

So the said owner comes, looks around, the work is on to any imaginable extent, everything satisfactory. But suddenly, notices this one dude running just back and forth with empty wheelbarrow. Stops him and asks why running back and forth with empty wheelbarrow? The man replies:
Sir, the work is so tight there is no time to even load up.

[MS]

Who does not know JP?

[bitsnpcs]

[Mart]

Time to lighten up...